Mortuus the Hutt

The cacophony of sounds that Mortuus the Hutt called music almost overwhelmed the small hooded figure walking into his palace. The acoustics of the fortress were good, or terrible, if you had a headache. Cmdr W Riker, who had taken over Bib Fortuna's job when Mortuus tossed him into the Rancor pit, rushed over to greet the mysteriously veiled intruder.

"What do you want, O Hooded Figure?" Riker inquired.

He pulled down his hood, revealing the face of a bellicose snack food. It was Jevlin Kale, Tortilla Chip Extrordinaire! Riker cowered in fear and let Jevlin pass. He walked down the ramp and into Mortuus's main audience room. He glanced around at the multifarious crowd, his gaze lingering on Froggery, Mortuus's dancing chinchilla. Jevlin nodded at her and she glowed a bright blue, happy to have been noticed by such a distinguished cabbage. Deciding to get on with his business, he walked over to Mortuus. The huge slug-like form rippled with fear. J evlin glared at the vile crime lord with as much animosity as he could muster. The querulous translator droid, Moffball, stood behind Mortuus trembling. Suddenly Jevlin jumped in the air and did a backflip, landing on the soft bed in the corner. He proceeded in jumping up and down. The crowd all stared at Jevlin, wondering about his recent vagaries. The confusing caused by Jev culminated when one of the guards, who was really Master Gode incognito, fired his gun at the ceiling. A huge chunk of plaster fell and hit Froggery the Chinchilla on the head, knocking her unconscious. The tortilla chip laughed a girlish laugh and jumped off the bed. Once again he walked to Mortuus and glowered at him.

"You kill my brothers, Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheesier. You're going to pay, you...you..." Jevlin thought hard for a good insult. "You dowager!"

Mortuus looked broodingly at Jevlin. "I killed your brothers?"

"Yes, you ate them just the other day!" Jevlin shouted and reached for his gun. "Now you must die!" He took aim and fired at Mortuus, killing him instantly. He was, however, dangerously close to insanity, so he stood in front of the corpse, raining it with bullets. Froggery regained consciousness and ran to Jevlin.

"Jevlin Kale, mighty warrior, you are standing precariously on the brink of madness. Please stop it."

Jevlin, ever the aesthete, looked at Froggery and realized for the first time how beautiful chinchillas could be.

"I'm not really a tortilla chip, you know. I'm a prince. Some mean witch turned me into a tortilla chip just to be mean."

Froggery nodded. "I understand." She didn't want to inveigle, but she had a feeling that if she didn't play along, he would kill her.

Suddenly too angry looking postal workers entered the palace. Jevlin stood up straight and glared at them preeminently.

"What are you doing in my palace?"

The postal workers didn't answer Jevlin. Instead, they pulled out two really big guns and shot everyone in a very austere manner. After a few minutes, only Ren and Honey Starr the Postal Workers were left standing.

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